Snowflakes and Spoons

Officially a Mom! On the 28th November 2017 my beautiful son, Levi was born. I entered this new territory with brave anticipation. As a first-time mom, I knew I would face unknown challenges on this road ahead. Having Myasthenia Gravis would bring its own set of unique twists and turns. Becoming a mother was always one of my hearts desires. One I often thought may be out of reach. What a blessing it was to find out just a bit more than a year ago we would have a child. Thankfully I have had a community of woman who have guided and showed me what it means not only to be a good mother but one led by God. Though this process I have realised that my mother, grandmother, aunt and mother in law are the four pillars of 'what it means to be a mom' to me. Because of them, I know how to persevere through sleepless nights, have the lion heart of fighting for my child's needs, how to be quite in a storm and how to have fun, laugh and enjoy every moment given in Go...

When I was younger, my parents owned a small sailing boat. We spent many relaxing days sailing on both the Vaal and Hartebeespoort dam. My Dad was our Captain, My Mom, deck hand and myself a 6-year-old Barbie Princess obsessed self always in my lumo life vest. When on board I always had my life vest on. My Mom was strict about this.  One sunny morning we headed out on the Vaal for a sail around the island.Half way through our trip the clouds started coming in. Not worried I continued playing on deck. I can only remember snip bits from there onwards. The wind getting colder and it starting to rain. The boat going from a gentle rock to almost keeling over. My Mom getting me to sit just inside the door of the cabin to protect me from the waves now washing the deck. Maybe it was because of the chaos on deck and the overpowering elements, but I can't remember any sounds. No screaming or crying. In fact, I can't even remember being that scared. I do remember ...

Connect with me on Facebook : https://m.facebook.com/snowflakesandspoons/ I'm no longer a slave to fear… How do I go from singing this song on Sunday to actually believing and living it out on Monday? It's so easy to seem confident, raising my hands and proclaiming this when I'm safe and protected. It's not so easy to remember this in the face of fear. On a closer look at the lyrics, they don't state 'I am no longer afraid', but rather that 'I am no longer a slave to fear'. Being a slave means being bound and forced to participate in actions without free will. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love." ( 1 John 4:18 ) What are you afraid of? Sickness, violence, spiders? Being a slave immobilizes us to fully participate in life. We struggle to move forward, to be confident. It makes us anxious and we feel betrayed. Fo...

Married to MG This month I will be married for seven years and seven months! It still seems like yesterday when I walked down the aisle towards you, my husband to be.  Before we got married, I said that you were getting a raw deal on the ‘sickness and health’ section of the vows. Still, you had the biggest smile when you whispered the vows back and placed a ring on my finger. Like anyone with chronic illness I wonder about your choice. Will you get tired of me and my hospitalisations, doctors visits and tablets? Our marriage hasn't been without its challenges. However the things you say bring a smile to my face and an understanding of a deeper love to my heart. Here are the top 5 things that make me smile! -    Let's take the matches to bed, my *prompe princess Intimacy can be a tricky thing with an unpredictable stomach. The nights when I'm  particularly flatulent a box of matches comes in handy when cuddling! (*Prompe is a...

I really enjoy watching TED talks. I find that they are a great way to gain a new perspective within 10min. I recently watched a TED talk by Benedictine monk, David Steindl-Rast, on the topic of Gratefulness. While his Austrian accent was at first a little distracting, the core of his message is powerful. ‘it is not happiness that makes us grateful. It's gratefulness that makes us happy.’  If we take a moment to stop, be mindful of the given moment and be thankful for life's opportunity,we hold the key to happiness in our own hands. In his words: ‘Stop, look and Go’. Here are some ways to implement this in your own life: STOP: Take time to ‘be’. Whether is it through meditation or just allowing yourself 10min of me time. Your brain needs to be allowed to hit the refresh button before you can truly be Grateful for your situation. You can do this through meditation or just allowing yourself 10min of ‘me’ time. I find that my brain loves the competitive cycle of complain...

To follow this blog on Facebook, like the page! https://www.facebook.com/snowflakesandspoons/ The Sacrifice behind Passion  My friend Lani SO LOVES running that she is preparing to run the comrades ultra marathon. She has adapted her diet, pushed through extra training sessions, sore feet, blisters, ITB and sunburns. Lani SO LOVES to run that she is willing to give up time with her family, wake up at the crack of dawn to get to races and push her body to the limit to reach her goal.  “ When I am on a long run, I have moments where my body feels in sync. My breathing, arms and legs are all in rhythm. I forget that I am running and I just feel happy. Then I get times where I run out of fuel and 'hit the wall.' Suddenly all my limbs feel very heavy, my shoulders droop and I break out in a cold sweat. It feels like the sun sucks the energy right out of me. I can feel the salt on my skin and sweat pouring into my eyes. I try to drink water, but it feels like it'...

To follow this blog on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/snowflakesandspoons/  Reality TV vs. staying connected I love watching reality TV.  From the adventures of the Amazing Race to Survivor as well as to Say Yes to the Dress, I love it all! From the drama of Dance Moms to the triumphs of the Biggest Loser, I cheer on the characters and share in their heartbreak. It is one way I can experience it. I can imagine cooking on Master Chef and being the one picked in the final rose ceremony of the Bachelor. It's a great distractor and opportunity to disconnect from reality.   The downfall is that this is not my life. These are not my traumas or joys, and while I would love to travel to Norway and see the Northern lights, my reality is slightly different. I don't have enough spoons to do everything that I want to do. The important question I asked myself was how can I live an authentic life when I am so tempted by these fairy tales? How do I enjoy other pe...

Worshipping when you can't raise your hands or sing out loud I have grown up in the church and have a love for praise and worship. One of my earliest memories is from a Sunday School concert where I stood centre stage, singing and dancing to 'Peace like a river'. When the verse 'love like a fountain in my soul' played, I kicked my leg into fountain position backwards, then kicked it forwards to touch the sole of my foot as choreographed by our Sunday School teacher. What my teacher didn't realise was my love for my new slip on shoes and their ability to fly into the second row with that movement!! After I was first diagnosed I remember sitting in church too scared to close my eyes while praying, because I didn't know if I would be able to open them again. I had just recently resigned from helping lead the junior youth because I no longer had the endurance to commit to a Friday night. My voice was prone to becoming an inaudible squeak which cau...