Heart of worship

Worshipping when you can't raise your hands or sing out loud



I have grown up in the church and have a love for praise and worship. One of my earliest memories is from a Sunday School concert where I stood centre stage, singing and dancing to 'Peace like a river'. When the verse 'love like a fountain in my soul' played, I kicked my leg into fountain position backwards, then kicked it forwards to touch the sole of my foot as choreographed by our Sunday School teacher. What my teacher didn't realise was my love for my new slip on shoes and their ability to fly into the second row with that movement!!

After I was first diagnosed I remember sitting in church too scared to close my eyes while praying, because I didn't know if I would be able to open them again. I had just recently resigned from helping lead the junior youth because I no longer had the endurance to commit to a Friday night. My voice was prone to becoming an inaudible squeak which caused more amusement than forwarding the kingdom. I remember people kneeling at the front for prayer and I thought, ‘I can't do that! I'll never get up again!’

Over the years, my symptoms have fluctuated. At one point I was able to start serving again in the church. I even joined a worship dance team. Currently, I am in a stormy patch of my autoimmune battle and I can't even drive myself to church, never mind complete a dance routine. I recently attended the Passion Conference where I was able to watch 40000 people praise God. It was inspiring, but also heartbreaking. I want to be able to stand for the duration of a song with my hands lifted in praise and not feel like I want to collapse afterwards.

I have been spending some time in what I like to call reflective prayer as well as receiving council and have concluded the following:



1) God doesn't care how you worship
Whether I'm singing out loud and waving a flag or lying in bed humming to myself, God cares more about my attitude and heart towards praise and worship, than what is seen by others. (James 4.8)

2) He will meet me where I am
I hold fast onto the verse that God can work for the good in all situations. This doesn't mean that the situation will change, but that He is there with me. If I'm kneeling or kicking my shoe into the second row, I do not need to meet any earthly standards to meet with Him. (John 4.21-24)

3) Be sensitive to your thoughts
When I get wrapped up in the 'but why not' and fear I lose focus in worship. Worship is about bringing glory to God and having an intimate opportunity to give to him. It's not about my needs or wants. (Romans 12.2)

4) Others will test you. Use it as an opportunity
This blog has been a great way to share my story, but it still may not reach the old lady who asks me why I haven't been to church in a month. Normally after taking a deep breath, I try and use this opportunity to tell them I have not been well and instead of getting into a complicated explanation of MG, I rather ask them to pray for me if they don’t see me in church. Hopefully, this gives them an opportunity to worship God in their actions at their own time. (James 1.3)

 5) Have a worship lifestyle not a worship moment.
While the 5 songs sung before the message can be a fragrant offering, worship goes far beyond making a joyful noise. In my place of work, in my marriage, at dog agility and even when I interact with the cashier at the store, I can use my life as an act of worship. (Col 3.23)


I know I will need to remind myself of these points again, and once again come back to the heart of worship!


Matt Redman - Heart of worship



“The Heart of Worship”
written by Matt Redman
When the music fades
and all is stripped away
and I simply come.
Longing just to bring
something that’s of worth
that will bless Your heart.
I’ll bring You more than a song,
for a song in itself
is not what You have required.
You search much deeper within,
through the way things appear,
You’re looking into my heart.
I’m coming back to the heart of worship
and it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it
when it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.
King of endless worth,
no one could express
how much you deserve.
Though I’m weak and poor,
all I have is Yours,
every single breath!
I’ll bring You more than a song,
for a song in itself
is not what You have required.
You search much deeper within,
through the way things appear,
You’re looking into my heart.
I’m coming back to the heart of worship
and it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it
when it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.












Comments

  1. Ah wow Candice, thank you so much for sharing - that is beautifully captured - all the best as you continue to blog and inspire and encourage others as you do...

    Strength and love [and worship times]
    love brett fish

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for your encouragement!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this one. Thank you Cands.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm in tears! Bless your beautiful heart ♡

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lynn, you are such a blessing in my life.

      Delete
  5. I'm in tears! Bless your beautiful heart ♡

    ReplyDelete

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